The first time you laid your eyes on him, he might looked ordinary. You thought he would not be more than a stranger.
The next time he got your number and talked to him through your phone, he might seemed a little more.
The day after when you let him met you after class, he might looked kind of fun.
A moment later you thought that it is okay for him to ask you to get lunch or dinner, cause he might be someone who cares about your tummy situation.
Several days later you said yes to date him, cause he might be someone who is willing to get to know you better.
Not long after you had your first fight, it was stupid and selfish, you think he might let you win the argument but he wasn’t.
Several weeks passed by, you let him kissed and touched you, cause you thought he might started to fall for you and you started to fall for him too.
A month later he asked for all the passwords for all your social media, he thought he might need to know whom you talk to. You asked for the same thing but he didn’t let you.
Frequently he started to ask you to come by his place, said he needed someone to help him kept his room clean. You couldn’t say no cause you might be a good helper.
That night when the city started to get cold, he asked you to join him in the blanket, said you might need to be warmed up. You obeyed.
Less than an hour later he started to kissed you, he couldn’t stop putting his hands all over you and you did nothing but letting him do. There are no thoughts about how it might not be the right time to give him all of you.
A year later he started to make you cry, like a lot. Argument after argument, not even once he said sorry. Tears after tears doesn’t stop him, even when he knew it caused you pain. He accused you for no reasons, he even laid his hand on you whenever you said things that he doesn’t like. He forced you for sex and he won’t stop even for a second even though you don’t feel comfortable at all. You thought it was okay, cause you might found a way to make him change. You thought it was okay, as long as you made him happy.
You might think he’s in love with you but honey, he isn’t. He might tell you he loves you but there’s no way love physically hurts you. No love let suspicious took control of one self toward another, love is all about building trust. He might slides his fingers in you and you might think it is all good but it is so wrong to forced you.
Lust is far different with love. And obsession is far different with caring for someone. We thought that if we fulfill their physical needs would prevent them to leave, keep them on their knees and love us, we’re wrong. That is not love.
Love is when you have faith in one another and get to know each other’s character. Love is when being together was as enough as breathing air, it keeps us alive. Love is when you let yourself drowning in each other without any force and love is when you know what’s good and what’s bad. And if it really is love, it would not be as temporary as impermanent tattoo.
Love takes time. It last longer. You don’t fall in a heartbeat, and so does out of love.
Love is gentle and it caresses you. No love would purposely hurt and force you to do something you don’t want to.
We lost our sane in love sometimes, that we mistaken obsession with care, and lust with love.
Don’t ever put yourself in that situation, don’t ever let yourself drown in any of that. Cause if you do, I’m sorry to say that it ain’t love.